Celebrated for her unconventional roles and poignant performances, actor Kalki Koechlin, who embraced motherhood with the arrival of her daughter Sappho in 2020, had to navigate the tides of her professional path anew with her new role as a parent. As she celebrated a birthday, the discussion of her experiences as a working mother in the Hindi film industry came to the fore, emphasizing a conversation that remains all too pertinent for women across the workforce.
Koechlin’s perspective on both life and her craft underwent significant transformation as she took on motherhood, but the oscillation between her professional obligations and the demands of parenting proved challenging. In candid discussions, Koechlin has revealed the struggles and insights she faced when returning to the set after giving birth.
Particularly telling was her experience while working on the international film ‘Goldfish,’ set in London, where the actress portrays a daughter growing closer to her mother who is battling dementia. Koechlin recounted an evening before shooting when her daughter clung to her, unable to fall asleep. With a heart-to-heart conversation that belied Sappho’s tender age, Koechlin expressed her commitment to both her daughter and her work—a duality that many mother’s face.
It’s within this vulnerable sharing of priorities that Koechlin believes children can feel a sense of involvement. Her recounting of this incident sheds light on the importance of communication and understanding within the family unit, even as one grapples with the demands of a rigorous career.
Koechlin went on to dole out appreciation for the supportive environment created by the crew of ‘Goldfish,’ yet she did not shy away from highlighting the broader systemic issues within the industry. The absence of adequate structures and policies to support working mothers was keenly felt by Koechlin, who pointed out that sans the discretionary kindness of individuals on set, the juggling act becomes significantly tougher.
This lack of support, according to Koechlin, extends to expectations that are often unyielding to the circumstances of motherhood, such as late-night outfit trials that encroach upon her responsibilities as a parent. Fortunately, the production of ‘Goldfish’ presented a rear example of accommodation, with the producers arranging for a nanny and the director limiting night shoots in consideration of her needs—a rarity rather than the norm.
Koechlin, who co-parents with her partner Guy Hershberg, spoke of their life in Goa, a deliberate choice made for the benefit of their daughter’s upbringing amidst nature and open spaces. The couple’s decision to maintain a committed partnership without formalizing it through marriage speaks to a progressive understanding of family and personal commitments that extends beyond traditional confines.
Despite settling in the coastal state of Goa, Koechlin’s career necessitates frequent visits to Mumbai. She makes a conscious effort to limit her time away from her daughter, embodying a struggle familiar to many working parents who strive to strike a balance between their professional aspirations and their dedication to family.
The genesis of Koechlin and Hershberg’s partnership traced back to an all-girls trip in Israel, where a serendipitous connection through a music school acquaintance led to a meeting between the two. Despite their demanding careers, Koechlin and Hershberg prioritize returning to their peaceful abode in Goa, underscoring the universal quest for a harmonious work-life equilibrium.
Kalki Koechlin’s candid revelations and birthday reflections offer an intimate glimpse into the realities faced by working mothers, especially in industries that have yet to fully acknowledge and cater to their unique needs. Her experiences serve as both an inspiration and a call to action for better support systems that enable mothers to flourish in their careers without compromising their pivotal role in nurturing the next generation.
