In the heartfelt contemplations of a sibling torn by loss, Shweta Singh Kirti candidly pays tribute to her late brother, Sushant Singh Rajput, in her poignant new memoir, ‘Pain: A Portal to Enlightenment.’ On what would have been the beloved Bollywood star’s 38th birthday, we delve into the pages where Shweta immortalizes her shared moments with Sushant – snapshots of a bond that tragically outlived its physical manifestation.
Born on January 21, 1986, after their parents endured the pain of losing their first-born son, Sushant was a much-anticipated joy in the family. Shweta reminisces about her brother’s arrival, contextualizing it within her parents’ longing for another son, a sibling’s companion forged in childhood play, and a shared voyage into adolescence. She offers readers a window into those intimate moments, revealing how tightly interwoven their lives were, eventually earning the joint nickname ‘Gudia-Gulshan’.
The memoir unfolds to recount Shweta’s nuptial departure for the United States—a move that pulled at the heartstrings of familial connection. She recalls the stinging tears and the final, lingering embrace with Sushant, a symbol of both the bond they cherished and the physical distance that was to ensue. Their shared existence was cleaved as Shweta embarked on a new chapter of her life abroad, carving a path separate from the one that had always been aligned with her brother’s.
Amidst the flurry of Sushant’s rising fame in Bollywood and Shweta’s life across the seas, the annual visits kept the siblings connected. From 2014 to 2017, each journey to India was a reunion of souls, a rekindling of shared childhood joy. Yet, fate would have it that her visit in 2017 was to be the last. In a wrenching twist of destiny, mere days before Sushant’s untimely passing, Shweta reached out with an invitation for her brother to visit her in the US, a reunion that would never come to pass.
The devastating news of June 14, 2020, traveled across continents, landing with an icy blow in the USA, where Shweta stood still in the wake of despair, paralyzed by a revelation that transcended her ability to react with visible grief. True to her spiritual practice, she receded into herself, processing the enormity of her brother’s departure in a state beyond tears, beyond screams – a silent abyss of shock and mourning.
Compounded by the global health crisis, Shweta grappled with the agony of being absent from Sushant’s final rites. The pandemic’s harsh reality barred her from a timely return to India, an obstacle that prevented her from participating in the ancient traditions of farewell, leaving her without closure. Her narrative captures the profound anger and frustration born from the constraints that kept her from bidding a proper adieu, stealing from her the chance of a final goodbye.
Shweta’s memoir is not only a recollection of personal anecdotes and the embers of memories shared with her Brother but also an embodiment of the very essence of human solitude. It is a confrontation of the pain that accompanies loss and the journey toward enlightenment that follows. As Shweta Singh Kirti continues to converse with the world about her memories of Sushant, her words reverberate with the raw emotion that has touched many hearts, serving as a testament to a life and connection that, though no longer in physical form, inspires and endures beyond the veil of mortality.
