Remember the missing trigger warning in Blink Twice? Well, “The Crow” remake arrives with a trigger warning, but it is, unfortunately, the wrong one. What it really requires is an alert for toe-curling dialogue and flat characters that share zero chemistry. This unnecessary reboot, helmed by Rupert Sanders, stumbles predictably from start to finish. Unlike Sanders’ previous success with the Foundation pilot, “The Crow” proceeds at the sluggish pace of congealing gum in a deserted post office, leaving fans of the original series sorely disappointed.
“The Crow,” marking the franchise’s fifth installment, opens on a disconcerting scene featuring a dying horse ensnared in barbed wire – marking it with black points for animal cruelty. A young boy named Eric, portrayed by Bill Skarsgård, attempts heroically to free the distressed animal, a traumatic experience that shapes his troubled future. Growing up, Eric battles addiction, mirroring the struggles of Shelly, a pianist played by FKA Twigs, who also contends with her own demons. The narrative sets them both on a collision course with destiny.
The plot thickens when Shelly, prompted by her friend Zadie (Isabella Wei), goes on the run from ominous crime lord Roeg (Danny Huston), who dabbles in arts patronage and devilish dealings. Shelly’s trajectory leads her to rehab, where she encounters Eric. Their shared struggles create a tenuous bond, disrupted by the arrival of Marian (Laura Birn), Roeg’s formidable lieutenant. Under dramatic circumstances, Eric and Shelly flee the rehabilitation facility, seeking refuge in the luxury apartment of one of Shelly’s acquaintances. The escape is marked by rebellious nights of partying and the blossoming of a love affair that feels hollow at its core.
Their brief period of tranquility shatters when Roeg’s henchmen locate and terminate their lives. It is here that the story introduces a fantastical element. Eric awakens in an abandoned train station, a purgatory-like halfway house, and meets Cronos (Sami Bouajila). Cronos enlightens Eric about his new invincible status, contingent on the purity of his love for Shelly.
. To reunite with her, Eric must seek vengeance on the wicked. Thus begins Eric’s glacially-paced journey of revenge which never quite captures the intensity and emotion one would expect from such a plot.
Despite the film’s promising premise, its execution falls woefully short. While the production design stands out for its excellence, and the soundscape—replete with trippy undertones—offers some solace, these features barely redeem the film. Even when divorced from comparisons with the cult classic 1994 movie, which boasted an iconic soundtrack featuring the likes of Stone Temple Pilots, The Cure, and Nine Inch Nails, the current movie’s music component fails to lift the narrative.
The lack of palpable chemistry between Twigs and Skarsgård presents a significant hurdle, rendering their love story unconvincing. It appears less of an enduring romance and more of a relationship born out of convenience. The leaden dialogue does nothing to help their cause, further weighed down by a sluggish pace and a muddled plot. The inclusion of an all-important video serves no significant purpose, acting instead as a filler.
Even the symbolic crow, which carries deep associations with ancestors and rebirth in Hindu mythology, feels like a half-baked afterthought. It floats vaguely within the frame, lost amongst a multitude of underdeveloped characters, including Shelley’s mother Sophia (Josette Simon) and an unnamed pianist whose purpose seems limited to making longing looks at Roeg. There’s a fleeting moment during a chase scene where the regenrating Eric evokes images of a Gothic Terminator, but this too quickly dissipates into the film’s vast wasteland of unrealized potential.
Ultimately, “The Crow” remake crashes under the weight of its ambition, offering an experience that is as disappointing as it is tedious. Stilted dialogue, lackluster chemistry, and a snail-paced narrative contribute to what can only be described as a monumental misfire. Despite its polished production design and effort in soundscape creation, it fails to recapture or even hint at the magic of its predecessors. Audiences hoping for a riveting tale of love and revenge might want to look elsewhere, as “The Crow” provides neither.
“The Crow” is currently screening in theaters.
World cinema / English cinema / reviews
